by Connie Eller

From the moment I walked out of that abortion mill in New York City, I was a broken person, hurting emotionally, filled with remorse and self-hate for what I had just done.

I am writing this article to call you back home to God. All people are guilty of sin against God. That includes you. That includes me, and I can tell you something about how the sin of abortion will destroy your life – and also about how God can restore your life. At the age of 16 I was not a churchgoer, not a Christian, not even religious, and not aware that I should care about God or that He had any kind of interest in me. What a prime candidate to fall victim to lies and deception. My 18-year-old boyfriend and I foolishly decided to have an abortion to hide the fact that I was pregnant. Immaturely, I also did not want my parents to know that I was sexually active, and I wanted to keep up what I perceived as my “good girl” image. Typical of many governments and politicians who prefer to support population control and make abortion businesses rich, rather than protect minors or respect the rights of parents of minors, the law did not require parents to give consent or even be informed when their minor child seeks an abortion. Therefore, in between my junior and senior year of high school, I was unfortunately able to arrange for and pay for an abortion without telling the adults who raised me.

From the moment I walked out of that abortion mill in New York City, I was a broken person, hurting emotionally, filled with remorse and self-hate for what I had just done. Any sense of hope, any dreams of what I aspired to do or be in life, died in me when the abortionist killed my unborn child. I had been 9-10 weeks pregnant and did not know at the time that my unborn son or daughter’s heart had already started beating; body, toes, feet, face legs, torso, already formed and developing. I also did not know at the time that an abortion on this age baby requires the abortionist to rip the baby apart before extracting the baby’s body parts from my womb, and then the abortionist or nurse would have to piece the torn baby together on a tray, to make sure no pieces were left inside the uterus (causes infection). This type of murderous child abuse and child sacrifice tragically was and still is “legal” in the United States. But is not morally or Biblically right.

The abortion was the willful taking of the life of my unborn child and this bad plan ruined my young life, which continued to spiral downward as I continued to make more damaging decisions throughout my young adulthood, because nothing mattered anymore. Depression, despair, hopelessness, self-destruction worsened as I realized the abortionist cut my child, my heritage, my gift, from me. Then, a few short years later, I started going to a Christian church where I heard about God, about the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ. That church taught us that God is personally interested in each of us, and it is our responsibility to read and understand the Bible for ourselves. I learned that God was willing to restore me, to forgive me, and that His good plans for me would replace what was evil in my life.

Do you ever wish you could undo your sins and the damage they have caused? Even if you do not acknowledge or recognize your own regret or remorse, some of the decisions and bad plans you’ve made in life have burdened your soul and sent shockwaves of hurt over the lives of others. Abortion is this kind of damaging decision.

If you have had an intentional pregnancy termination, committed an abortion, played a role in someone else’s abortion, or failed to intervene when a planned abortion was revealed to you, God knows it and He is not pleased with the shedding of innocent blood. Do you recognize your failure to fulfill God’s good purpose? Do you hunger to be forgiven and freed, so you can receive new life and new purpose? You cannot replace the lives that have been lost. Yet, your life and your soul are lost, and you are captive (enslaved) to sin and Hell, until you come humbly and sorrowfully to God and accept the new life He offers you through His Son Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. You can receive new life in Christ and have a life of hope and a personal mission to fulfill God’s good plan for you.

You are very valuable to God, our Creator. He made you, fashioned you, skillfully, lovingly, and with great purpose. With this comes the comfort that God has a good plan for your life. However, what happens if you choose to reject or ignore God’s great plan and love for you? Think about it: If God has a good plan for your life, what happens when you, yourself, make decisions and take actions that work against, even interfere with, God’s good plan for you? “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Then you will call to Me. You will come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. When you look for Me, you will find Me.” -- Jeremiah 29:11-13a, Holy Bible, Old Testament*

Things the LORD hates: “…arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill innocent people.” – Proverbs 6:16-17, Holy Bible*

Jesus forgives and heals from all kinds of sins. Yes, even including abortion. Please ask the Lord to give you His Holy Spirit to show you His good plan for your life - and please, please do not let abortion ruin it.

Jesus said… “I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” – Luke 5:17-26, Holy Bible*


* Bible Scriptures in this article are quoted from the Lutherans for Life “God’s Word for the Nations” version.

Connie Eller lives in St. Louis, Missouri, and has been married for almost 25 years, has three adult children, and two adorable grandsons. She is employed at a pro-life emergency maternity home. Connie is one of the speakers on Life Dynamics documentary, Maafa 21: Black Genocide in 21st Century America. You can contact Connie through, E-mail or call (314) 398-2161. You can also see Connie call us to prayer at our ministry sponsored Concert of Prayer, July 2011. Go to our home page, click on Videos, and then scroll down to the Joplin event.
Editor's Note: We recommend the following: Shades of Blue, a Christian fiction, by Karen Kingsbury. Before his marriage, Brad revisits the pain of pushing his teen-age girlfriend to get an abortion. Both of them receive the healing that only God can bring. An excellent story of redemption that is worth the reading for all teens as well as adults.

Her Choice To Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion by Sydna Masse. A resource of personal stories with strength and change. It also provides spiritual and practical resources for healing; and offers hope, forgiveness, redemption, and peace that is possible in Christ.

How to Forgive Ourselves Totally: Begin Again By Breaking Free From Past Mistakes by R.T. Kendall. God can use anyone again, on one condition . . . that he or she deeply repents. When there is a broken and contrite heart after a fall, there is hope. This book offers we find the promise of hope and the steps to repentance and reconciliation for all. We also recommend our ministry partner If Not For Grace -

If Not For Grace Ministries exists to provide healing for women, men, and extended families suffering from post-abortive symptoms, with opportunities for restoration leading to a place of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Life After Abortion DVD. Countless women have been overwhelmed by post abortion trauma, resulting in fear, anxiety, pain and guilt. Many suffer in silence for years after they realize the full toll of their choice. From desperation to devastation to deliverance, Life After Abortion takes an honest look at the undeniable impact abortion has had on real people, as told by those who experienced them.

Maafa - Black Genocide in 21st Century America. Maafa 21 is about eugenics, and elitism, and well-hidden racial agendas. It’s about treachery and corruption at the highest levels of political and corporate America. It’s about things the media has been hiding and politicians don’t want you to know.

Do you want to know more about a personal relationship with Jesus?